Monday, February 10, 2014

The Civil Wars Reincarnated

One day God was out walking around Telegraph Hill in San Francisco feeling kind of bored.  He was glassing the parrots with his Zeiss binoculars and thinking about the time when Adam and Eve screwed up.  No, he was lamenting that day more than thinking about it.  He sat on a park bench for a minute even though he didn't need a park bench or anything to sit on, but he was feeling the effects of living a chunk of eternity without Adam and Eve in the Garden.  Many people walked by him and it somehow made him feel even more different inside of Eternity than ever:  Kind of a warm rushing flushed feeling he hadn't really felt before.  What he had noticed over the eons was that Man had pretty much continued to screw things up.  They had continued to screw up and down sometimes too.  It seemed like there was no end to the people walking by his bench-perch (God was still thinking about the parrots I guess).

God kept thinking about all the screw ups, mostly all the wars humans had preoccupied themselves with.  All the killing of his creations that happened during wars like the Trojan Wars, and the 100 Days War, the Civil War (God! that was a real screw up he thought), then WWI and WWII and Vietnam.  He was getting woozy thinking of all the killing and mess man had gotten himself into after the Garden.  Then one of the parrots landed next to him on the bench.  God had been thinking he had thought enough about all the turmoil man had created for himself with the free will he let them take out of the Garden that time after the apple bobbing screw up.  War he decided was the worst of Man's inventions, God thought (to himself of course).  Where the hell did man come up with this idea of war?  God knew he had invented love making for humans after the first screw up so they could go forth and prosper and continue to screw up, but war seemed like a sin against love making.  So, God was thinking about that when he looked back at the parrot.  He noticed the parrot was wearing a set of headphones and seems to be tapping his foot and kind of rocking back and forth to the sound coming through the headphones.

The parrot peeled off the headphones and offered them to God.  So, God took them and pretended he had a head and pretended he didn't know what the parrot was listening to even though he knew music because he let man invent that too.  God was sick of inventing after those six hard days at the grinding wheel and was enjoying man making all kinds of things on his own.

So the parrot watched God put on the headphones and the parrot flew off to hang out with and copulate with his mate up in the trees on Telegraph Hill.  God starting focusing on the music in the headphones and smiled.  He hadn't really listened to music much before.  He had been too busy paying attention to everything at once and so he didn't really know much about any one thing in particular.  He didn't figure that was his job after setting the whole Universe spinning.  God was listening and thinking about how cool it would be if he could get all of mankind to just take a break like he was and listen to some music.  He thought about the time, a few hours back in eternity when he watched Adam and Eve listening to the sounds of their new home outside of Paradise.  He remembered the great music that Mozart and the boys produced during their time.  Then he started thinking about the not too long ago when some guys called the Everly Brothers were singing their great duets.  Then some more wars came and all of a sudden there was all kinds of new music that couples like Adam and Eve were listening to all kinds of great rock and roll and slow dancing music and they were making love too and having babies and man just kept on going.

God was getting a little nostalgic through all of this and decided it seemed man had done a couple things right after all.  Music being one of them and maybe that is what kept man and woman doing what they were supposed to do.  He was just thinking about all this when he started to listen to the music in the headphones again.  He liked what was playing.  He thought about how every generation of humans had their favorite music and that once or sometime twice in every generation since man invented music there was a duet that was really top notch.  He did some calculations and figured out that music and math were the same thing, but music made babies and math made the world go around.
  
He started listening to the music again.  He really listened and he felt his alone-ness changing to loneliness  He decided that being the one and only God wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.  All because of taking the time to listen to this specific duet singing through his headphones.  God started swaying back and forth to the songs and the chords and the harmonies and the sense of the love that was coming to him through the music.  YES, he thought to himself, this is what I invented, love, and man has figured out how to induce love with music.  God was all smiles, but at the same time he was getting all the more lonely.  Then when he was at the height of a very (almost) overpowering feeling inside his unversal self the last song ended and an announcer came on and said; "That last song was, "Dance with Me Until the End of Love" by The Civil Wars.  And that made God so warm and fuzzy inside he wanted to fly up in the trees with the parrots, find a mate and make love.  He was beside himself with this new feeling he now could feel was love.  He realized  maybe man had figured out that war was evil and love was good.  And then, God decided it was a good day to rest again.  As he leaned back into the park bench comfortable with himself and the bench, He thought seriously about letting Man back into the Garden.

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